Krankjorum Means Business

It's specifically what you think.

A Farewell to Facebook

with 2 comments

It’s Facebook’s tenth birthday today. Several media are marking the occasion by offering analyses, histories, comments, future predictions and the like. With its one-billion-and-almost-a-quarter users worldwide and advertising revenue second only to Google, Facebook is way ahead of other social networks and unquestionably the leader of the pack.

This hasn’t prevented experts from doubting its future prospects, threatened mainly by emerging social networking sites in Asia. Facebook is also losing ground with teenagers who prefer to share their angst on sites not frequented by their parents and seem to have stopped using the service en masse.  One in four teenagers has fled to cooler pastures apparently.

That’s as much as you can say in passing about Facebook’s tenth birthday. That is, if you’re interested as to why cool teens don’t want to to use it, and how the Chinese have their own. Personally I’m not really concerned about either. I’m concerned enough, though, as to why I  deleted my Facebook account sometime last year despite not being neither a cool teenager nor of Asian origin.

I must preface things by announcing that I’m not what you’d call a social person or enjoy company that much. (Which isn’t to say I don’t like being aroung human beings, but only in carefully tithered doses.) I like disappearing to Planet M, staring vegetatively into a blank wall all day. I jump and squeal and look for exits when strangers approach me on the street. I don’t do small talk so much as blurt out insensitivities at others’ plight disguised as ill-humoured jokes. On a bad day, I might spit and growl.

I rarely posted original content during my tenure on Facebook. My credo is that if you’ve nothing to say, you shall remain silent. It’s simple and elegant. I shared pictures, including my graduation, that I thought were funny. I may have written ‘poop’ and had a bunch of likes. Not much else.

This is a funny picture.

This is a funny picture.

Few oddities aside, I’m not really interested in anything much. This includes not being interested in what others do in their daily life, or have it fed to me each time I logged onto Facebook. The obvious complication was that of the around 120 friends I’d collected, the 103 I were the least interested in were the keenest to feed their baby’s diarrhoea, their fascination for Downton Abbey and their weight training in the gym (‘woo hoo!’) into the ether, and on a frequent basis.

I’m sure many of us have the same issue. You stare into a dull feed to witness irrelevant drivel upon logging on. Bits of this matter stick to your neocortex. Once the baby vomits on Marlene’s shoes, it’s deposited into your brain for all eternity. You can’t un-deposit it. That’s a problem if your brain is as scattered and fragile as mine.

This could be managed by changing the settings of course. Once I’d figured out how to sort my feed to hide people I wished not to see unless I took the bother to go to their wall, I realised I’d binned the vast majority of my friends for later – whenever that might be. The leftovers were people I personally cared for and who – few exceptions aside – hardly ever posted on the thing. Perhaps it’s a coincidence. Oh, and I had a few wacky fitness and Eastern philosophy pages there, too.

Whilst I’d considerably reduced the amount of posters in my feed, I hadn’t reduced the feeling of urgency that social media creates. Just so – I might never know what’s happening if I’m not logged on, right this minute. I kept logging on, and staring at an uninteresting feed to witness irrelevant drivel. That quickly grew to be boring – nay – annoying. It was like watching mindless television because you’re too dull to think of another way to kill time.

That realisation was the dealbreaker. I may watch stupid teevee, but I’m too good to be addicted to watching mindless Facebook for fear of missing out. I went into self-imposed hibernation and had withdrawal symptoms for about three days. My account was automatically deleted after two weeks of not logging on.

Of the around 120 people I had on Facebook, one thought the departure reason enough to contact me through another communication channel. Others possibly didn’t notice. If they did, they had nothing urgent to profess anyway. It might as well. If I didn’t think much of their daily existence, they surely didn’t need to get the fuzzies about mine. It’s not cool on Facebook.

As a postscript I might offer that I still vegetate and stare at walls. I squeal and mutter inconsistently from time to time. I have picked up an interest I might have anyhow. I have two dear friends nearby, neither of whom is on Facebook.

I don’t feel better or worse for deleting my account. It’s safe to say, though, that if it doesn’t affect me either way, Facebook had not much ground for being there in the first place. It was noise – noise that kept disrupting my wall-staring sessions whilst on Planet M.

Written by M

February 4, 2014 at 1:04 pm

Posted in Random

Tagged with , ,

Why Men Don’t Like Yoga

leave a comment »

Word has it men don’t like yoga. This is no wonder. Yoga commonly occurs as part of a mind-boggling lifestyle that encompasses breathing, a nutrient-filled diet, and detoxifying cleanses to lift the tired spirit to another level. It represents many a thing an average man doesn’t wish to become associated with: tight outfits, vegetables, the downward dog. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by M

December 1, 2013 at 2:27 pm

Posted in Women's Woes

Tagged with , , , , , ,

Finland in November

leave a comment »

I recently spent a week in Finland in November. The trip from Sun-scorched Sydney took a total of 22 hours and some eight or nine time zones. I spent the time comfortably stretched out over several seats in an almost empty airliner. I abused the complimentary drinks while watching a documentary about a mad British rock legend that made me snort and giggle. I fell asleep and woke up a few hours later with a sore head, feeling sorry for myself. Then it was time for the next almost empty airliner.

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by M

November 19, 2013 at 6:44 pm

Posted in Random

Tagged with , , , , , , ,

Fatty, I Hate You

leave a comment »

There are two types people on this planet: fat people and not-fat people. While these two may, at the first sight, appear to be mutually exclusive, they exist on a spectrum. It is entirely possible to travel from one end to the other, but it bears to note that this system is asymmetrical. It is much more common for a not-fat individual to trespass the gates to the land of lard than for a fat person to spontaneously turn into a shriveled-up shrimp. Why this should be the case is a mystery of the 21st century. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by M

November 9, 2013 at 5:58 pm

Posted in Random

Tagged with , , , , , , ,

Talk to Me, Bikini

leave a comment »

People love to communicate. We express ourselves to our surroundings in words and gestures, and we expect others to reciprocate. This is because humans evolved in small tribes where sharing data and making oneself known with everyone was crucial for survival. If you didn’t smile and grunt to Og, he might have taken you for an enemy. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by M

August 31, 2012 at 11:35 am

The Average Of Seven-Oh

leave a comment »

As of 2012 the average Australian woman weighs 70kg. This tidbit caused a bit of a stir due to Australian women’s deep-seated yearning to conform to the average, despite the odd boastful claim to the contrary. Average’s where it’s at which is why simple metrics such as the scales are very important in today’s society. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by M

July 22, 2012 at 11:19 am

Posted in Women's Woes

Tagged with , , , , , ,

Be Wise, Be Truly Motivated

leave a comment »

Motivational quotes, catchphrases and otherwise Inspirational Idioms are everywhere these days. It’s almost impossible to waste your time on Facebook without stumbling onto a sentence or three that Up Your Ante, scream at you to Try Harder and otherwise Seize The Day, or else.  Fail To Plan And You Plan To Fail. A Plum Not Plucked Is A Calorie Less Consumed. Wisdom jumps at you from every crook and corner in the modern world. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by M

July 13, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 28 other followers